Late Night Thoughts: May 22nd, 2015

It's 1:41 A.M EST right now, and I can't sleep. For one because there is a tangled array of thoughts inside my brain. You know, for instance when you pack up all your extension cords and they magically tangle on their trip. Or the pair of headphones in your pocket that you always have to undo knots in if you want to listen to music. Then there are very loud intoxicated college students shouting right outside my apartment. So I'm going to write down my thoughts for the night before they escape me..in poem form. By no means is this well thought out or put together. This is also the time where I think about the cliche love aspect of my life I almost never talk about. Leap inside the mind of an over thinker!

If I ever had a boyfriend, 

he would have to understand,

that between the choice of saving the world, and him,

I would save the world.

It's not because I don't love him enough,

It's because I have my own set of morals. 

I want to just sit by the seaside one day, 

so I can watch how the sky kisses the sea, 

and how the ocean swallows the sun at dusk.

I want to understand what the birds think, 

when they fly towards the horizon and its scorching sun.

There are many things that I fear:

Dark water because I almost died in the deep cloudiness 8 years ago,

being alone because time always goes slower when you are alone, 

swarms of small insect, mud, misunderstanding. 

But most of all, I fear NOT KNOWING. 

Not knowing how my life will play out.

Not knowing if I may die tomorrow. 

Not knowing. Not knowing, Not knowing. 

"What is the point of giving our children flight lessons...

If they no longer have wings" 

I loved someone once, 

In fact I must admit I still do. 

It's a very complicated feeling honestly. 

To love someone, but not want to be with them. 

To love someone, 

but have them hand you your heart strings 

on a plate of interwoven memories that cannot be replicated. 

To love someone, 

and watch them love someone who is not you. 

Wow. That was super cheesy. 

One of the biggest goals in my life is to travel the world,

I want to see many many places with my own pair of eyes. 

To meet the people there and experience their life. 

It would be nice to step on soil not cement. 

And smell air that's not polluted by factories.